The News - The Student Newspaper of Choate Rosemary Hall
THE CHOATE NEWS: Monday, February 6, 2006
Sarah & Sara: Choate's Crystal Ballers

By Sara Shapiro ‘06 and Sarah Albert ‘06
News Guest Reporter


Pisces-February 18-March 20

Angry Jupiter is moving west in your favor this month, so don’t worry: your mom won’t worry that you maxed out the Choate card on Tuck Shop food. Watch out mid-month as stories from long weekend might leak out and turn into hideous rumors. Try keeping it cool: denial is key.

Single: Be on the prowl at the next SAC dance, there is a lonely Choatie waiting as DJ Montez scratches his new beats.

Tied Down? No one likes a PDA-er. Remember kids: the pathway to humanities is NOT a private area.

Aries-March 21-April 19

Neptune is blue, but that does not mean that you have to be too. Half Moon is the perfect pick me up, so invite a “friend” and take a break, or “watch a movie” afterwards. Toward the end of the month, as the Cameloppardalis constellation becomes exuberant in the night sky, don’t forget to study for that English proficiency.

Single? As the Fornax constellation moves southwest, as do the day student hotties into their lounge. Boarders: find reasons to go down to the DSL as it may be worth your while.

Tied Down? Heat things up during these cold winter months and study in the basement of the library instead of the third floor. Maybe even venture towards Tavern on Main rather than Half Moon, but only if you are a couple willing to take risks.

Taurus-April 20-May19

Kids, the pull of the moon may cause imbalance in your life, so watch out. Do not slip in the Dining Hall, do your math homework for once, and make sure your dean does not catch you getting in a day student’s car. (Note to seniors, Mrs. Miller knows all about the “secret spot” of the laundry building.)

Single? This is your lucky month, ladies. Tyler Cabrera (our Taurus of the month, not related to Ryan, but equally luscious) is free for some “biddies.” Love-struck Venus (Earth’s twisted sister) is playing her part to work some magic.

Tied Down? Be careful breaking coed on the 17th as Saturn rotates just as much as your adviser will. Maybe try getting coed for once: F block can wait. Keep yourselves off restriction as this could strain the relationship.

Gemini- May 20-June 20

Contrary to popular belief, Mercury WILL rotate this month and you might just get an A on that math test. Be careful though, your cocky attitude may cause some drama with your roommate. Competition is fierce; try not to get too caught up in SAT scores and grades. Jupiter’s moon Titan is keeping a good watch on you.

Single? Why wait? Grab a Snickers and a shower and show your moves at the SAC dance. Maybe the Prep School Gangstaz will even ask you to be in their next video, but only if you are lucky.

Tied Down? Don’t underestimate a moonlight walk during break or a visit to the observatory with Mr. Wolff. Stargazing can be very romantic.

Cancer- June 21- July 22

Your horoscope may be the name of a disease for which only Kiran Pendri can find the cure, but you are in luck because Pluto’s elliptical cycle has determined that your time management will pay off this term. Mom and Dad will be proud with the grades, so keep on trudging. You may get that new SUV you asked for after all.

Single? Take a study break and head to the Memorial Circle steps at 9:00 pm- you may just find a certain someone to “walk” you back to your dorm.

Tied Down? As Valentine’s day approaches do something special for that certain somebody in your life. Maybe send them a candy gram or leave them candy hearts that say, “fax me” at their classes.

Leo- July 23-August 22

As far as fashion goes, please remember that February does not call for mini-skirts and Ugg boots. Dress for comfort. People won’t stare and you will be much happier. Help out a friend this week and it will pay off later, even if you have a chemistry test to study for. You can get a little fed up with that one person in your dorm, but as soon as spring break rolls around things will look up.

Single? Concentrate on looking good, because the Sally Hart Lodge may have a tasty visitor this month. Boys, Pegasus is going to make it hard to get out of bed in the morning, but please shower.

Tied Down? Surprise your boo with something creative, like a homemade valentine or a hand-written poem. They are sure to appreciate the effort even if you are no William Shakespeare.

Virgo- August 23- September 22

Don’t let the Internet take control of you this month, stay off Facebook for a while, and actually do your history reading for once. Again: who is the real you, and who is the Internet you? Mercury’s temperature has been rising so don’t push in line for the food at the dining hall. It’s just not worth the fight.

Single? When your “study buddy” asks you to meet him or her in the library, do not confuse his or her motives. Although you may be working on your physics homework, there can always be a little chemistry between the two of you.

Tied Down? The dark room is for producing photos, not intimate relationships. Please, kids, find a new spot and go out on a whim to make your significant other feel special, even if there is no occasion.

Libra- September 23-October 22

Uranus is cautious this month, and you should be too. When a day student pressures you to get into his or her car, take a moment, step back, and ask yourself, “What would John Ford do?” And you will be fine. In fact, Choatie, when making all decisions, ask yourself, WWJFD, and the right decision will surely come to you. Also watch out for computer trouble toward the end of the month, save your research paper every so often.

Single? Go to extra help and you may find another cutie in need of a little extra “studying” later on in the week as well. It is a win-win situation.

Tied Down? We know you have been thinking twice about the intensity of your relationship, so take some time to really get back in touch with your friends, and things will smooth over with your significant other later.

Scorpio- October 23-November 21

Saturn, the planet of discipline, is going to help you out this month. Don’t take this lightly; you must still put in the extra hours for that English paper. Spray your Ugg boots when weather.com calls for a “wintry mix.” Beware—the “Can I Help You” Guy may not have cooked your omelet completely.

Single? Venus, the planet of love, is florescent in the night sky meaning you should be too. That person you have been thinking a lot about lately is going to return a nice favor, but only if you go to class on time. Look for some hotties at the school meeting, give a stranger that cute little smile of yours. Flash those pearly whites; we know you just got your braces off.

Tied down? Create some one -on- one time to discuss the issues you have been having, it will feel great to get it off your chest and long weekend will be that much better. Just be honest, the way Mars is.

Sagittarius- November 22-December 21

Careful ordering in this month, the delivery guy may not just want to deliver. When he asks you for your number more than once, that is a sign. He may want more than just your extension. Compliment your Dean’s assistant and the next time you have to do a late sign-out there will not be consequences. Also, maybe the candy supply in her office will increase.

Single? As senioritis is striking hard so is the “love bug.” It is getting close to springtime, so get a head start. Just because it is winter it does not mean the loving needs to lack. Stop wishing something would happen and take matters into your own hands.

Tied Down? Go to a sporting event with a loved-one and watch them as they get riled up from supporting the Wild Boars. This excitement may carry on later (wink, wink).

Capricorn- December 22-January 19

Please change your sheets, we know you have not done so in awhile and the people from E and R laundry are becoming concerned. Also, don’t forget to pick up your dry cleaning, that shirt you think your dorm mate stole is actually sitting in the Laundry Building in a nice plastic bag. If you are borrowing a DVD from the library remember to return it. Pluto, the planet of empowerment, will help you get that slacker attitude under control as long as you call your grandmother this weekend.

Single? Go to the Tuck Shop and share a milkshake with a friend and maybe you won’t be friends very much longer. That friend you thought was purely platonic actually might have clandestine feelings for you.

Tied down? Snuggle and watch a DVD. If you are serious, we suggest the Notebook. If your relationship is just blossoming, try a classic like “Jerry Maguire.”

Aquarius- January 20-February 18

Please do not let Halo, Lost, or 24 take over your life this month as winter term exams are slowly approaching. Neptune’s pull is going to make you not press pause but please use your inner WWJFD instinct to make the right choice.

Single? Sit at a different table in the dining hall, take a risk and shy away from that corner table you are used to. You may just meet a special someone.

Tied Down? Order in this week and turn that cozy single of yours into a private table for two.