News Staff Reporter
“Oh. Look at you! You’re so…did you lose a lot of weight over the summer?” One girl said brightly to another in the sandwich line. “Um, yeah,” she replied, contemplating her shoes intently. The silence stretched painfully, so I grabbed my grub and ran for it.
This kind of awkward situation is not uncommon at our school upon the hillside. Nearly as often as I hear girls commenting on each other’s cute outfits or comparing homework loads, I hear them commenting on their respective weights—in particular, singling out their more slender peers. Many girls think that it is acceptable to tell someone that she is skinny, because being thin is generally looked upon as desirable. What these people don’t know, however, is that this can make their friends just as uncomfortable as insinuations about their fatness.
One long-legged student put it this way: “Its not like I just eat tofu and vinegar. It’s just like this:” She swept her hand, motioning to a tray loaded with pasta, rolls, and a slice of pizza. “But people look at me and what [food] I’m getting, and they get this suspicious look.”
It’s just that sort of suspicious look that can make a skinny girl feel self-conscious. Going to the dining hall can change from simply eating with friends to trying to pick the right food and amounts of it in the hopes of avoiding unpleasant comments. You would never think of calling someone fat or appraising the lunch choices of an overweight person—so why would you do the same for someone of a different weight? Fat or skinny, we all deserve to be treated the same. Unless you make a point to tell someone that she looks great, comments on body type are extremely inappropriate.
Some people argue that calling someone skinny is a good thing, along the same lines as telling that person that you love her new Marc Jacobs tote. It’s not. It’s easy to change the things we carry, but it is incredibly hard for many people to change their body. Consequently, body weight is an intensely personal thing. And for most of us, our bodies and the way we look are largely determined by genetics and are out of our control. So what right have we to judge?
And for a girl who is insecure about herself or her body, even comments to the effect of a compliment may be interpreted as criticism. Some comments are far from complimentary. For example, take the way some girls modulate their tone. They don’t sound very “Oh, you’re looking great.” And then you sort of get the jealousy vibe. When girls jestingly add, “I hate you,” or “It’s so unfair,” to the end of a supposed compliment, it doesn’t really make the receiver of the compliment any happier.
Then there are the insinuations, from looking at someone’s tray appraisingly to accusing them of being anorexic. To my horror, I saw a freshman blanch as another joked that she probably had to “puke it all up afterward, didn’t she?” Totally inappropriate. And even at Archie Moore’s, that fine purveyor of fried grease, two students were exhorting the third to finish her dessert, while she protested she was much too full. Are you a nutritionist? I didn’t think so. What degree gives you the right to tell people they should eat more? Worse, it could be interpreted not as a person caring for her friend’s health but as assuaging her own insecurities about her own body or eating habits.
Comments about someone’s body, even if it seems like a compliment, are too dangerous to be good. As one runner said: “It just feels weird because you know they’re thinking you have an eating disorder, when that is not the case. That’s basically how it feels when people call you skinny.” True, girls may believe they are pointing out a positive trait, but their comments too often come out sounding accusing and mean. By just avoiding body comments, be they fat or skinny, you can step around a quagmire of issues.
