Lauren is a four year senior from Suffern, New York. She is a prefect in Edsall who has participated in Ultimate Frisbee, Senior Soccer, and Girls Cross Country. She is a Senior Staff Writer for The News for the Features page providing candid humor in the Fashion Forward.
This is going to be an extremely honest speech. Right now, in front of all of you, I am going to recount my experience here, which means that you’re going to hear about every time I got switched around, screwed up, and screwed over. Maybe you will learn something, maybe you won’t, but it will certainly be therapeutic for me.
During my freshman year, I was pretty rambunctious and impulsive. So, in the spirit of experimentation, I tried my hand at serving Choate on the Judicial Committee. You’re probably thinking, “’rambunctious behavior’ plus ‘desire to experiment’ equals ‘Judicial Committee’’? Well, maybe you are right to be skeptical as I was the first elected member of the JC to be removed from office. This is what happened: After my first hearing, a case that ended in the dismissal of two of my dorm mates, I was visibly upset after the hearing and the girls could see it. For displaying my emotions, I was given a stern talking-to. Then, after being questioned in Nichols’ common room after my second and last hearing, I casually responded, “No, I can’t tell you, Mr. McCatty would be mad.” When an advisor told Mr. McCatty about my response, he found it to be highly inappropriate. Apparently, I should have said, “No, I will not tell you what happened at the proceedings at the Judicial Committee because it would be against my honor as a student of Choate Rosemary Hall, and because I have neither given nor received any unauthorized aid on this judicial assignment.” Before today, I had to act like it was OK that I was removed under shady circumstances from a position that I had earned. Now that I am giving my senior speech and graduating in eleven days, I can say to you all right here that it was [expletive]. To remove me from the JC was extremely unnecessary and undemocratic. Even Kiran Pendri was outraged, and to claim that Kiran is misguided is to ruin several issues of the Choate Bulletin.
Looking back, I wish I could have better represented myself. I wish I hadn’t been too scared and choked up to say, “You know, that’s not what I meant.” However, I was young and needed an adult to back me up, but no one did. So, from this experience I learned how things work around here. At Choate, it is impossible to go anywhere without faculty backing you up. Without faculty support, I stood no chance of remaining on the Judicial Committee. Similarly, you can work as hard as you want in class, but you won’t get the science prize on Prize Day if your Chemistry teacher hates you. Teachers and Administrators always run the show, for better or for worse. I’m not saying you should suck up to faculty, though it helps. What you should really do is find those adults on campus with whom you can truly get along. You’ll earn a friend, learn a ton, and have someone to help you out in case a shitzu hits the fan.
I digress from my Choate story. My next big hurdle came two weeks into my sophomore year when my three best friends from freshman year got kicked out of school. You probably know the story. They were the three idiots who were caught smoking pot in Archbold. So, needless to say, at the start of my sophomore year I definitely did not feel as peppy and excited as all the pretty new sophomores from New Canaan. I remember being really angry all the time. Not only were my friends gone, but I found out that someone I knew had narced on them. This was beyond my understanding. I knew that different people have different moral standards, but I thought everyone understood that students are supposed to stick together. Eventually, the anger and bitterness I felt began to have an effect on my behavior. Around that time I stopped caring about Choate and my place at the school because I started to ignore the policy on illegal substances at Choate. Debauchery was the only way I had of hanging out with people and having friends. If I didn’t go to the playground – and all you sketchy people out there know what I’m talking about – I had nothing to do.
Then, towards the end of sophomore year, John Goods was like, “Hey, want to hang out sometime?” And I was like, “Hey sure.” And he was like, “Hey, I’ll see you at the Three-four” And I was like, “Hey, alright.” So there we were at the Three-Four dance and I am completely wasted and don’t even realize the fire alarm is going off. And John Goods said, “What the hell is wrong with you?” So I said, “I hate myself.” Then he said, “Well...I like you.” I said, “Well...cool.” We’ve been together two years as of last week, and I don’t mess around on campus anymore. Now I realize we can’t all have John Goods to flirt with us, primarily because I just won’t allow it, so I can’t say I have a lesson for anyone here.
During my junior year I was never on campus. I spent every weekend at John’s house, completely isolated from the friends I had made the year before. I took six classes all year and played three interscholastic sports. Between all my homework and practice, I saw my friends as often as we see Mr. Shanahan on campus. There’s not much to say here, other than, don’t do this. You might be really excited to have a new love interest, and you might want to see them all the time. But don’t. However, I also realize that no one is ever going to follow this advice. As teenagers we can be too hot-and-heavy to think things through rationally. But it’s not our fault. It’s the science of hormones. So, try to get a grip as best you can and make sure you do your homework. Hopefully, if you’re as lucky as I am, your friends will still be there when things cool off. Not that John and I have cooled off. Never mind, that’s none of your business. This is my Senior Speech, not an episode of Sex & the City.
Next: senior year and my final awkward obstacle at Choate: I was made a prefect in a very small and cozy dorm. The catch? The only other prefect in that dorm was the girl who narced on my friends sophomore year! Ba-ZING! At that point, I was still sore about the ordeal and I tried to think of every possible way to get out of this situation. It was like all the negativity from sophomore year was threatening to come back and take over my life. However, eventually I realized there was no way out; I was just going to have to buckle down and live with someone whom I considered my worst enemy. I can’t really explain how I got over it; I think the necessity of peace really helped, but all I can say now is that time heals all. I realized that people do things for their own reasons, and sometimes that’s nothing you can change. So, I did the thing I never thought I could do. I forgave her. Honestly, I felt a lot better after I did, too.
Finally, know this: Though this speech focused on everything bad that’s ever happened to me at Choate, I actually really like it here. During these four formative years, I felt like I’ve really discovered who I am. Granted, I was thrown some hurdles to help me figure it out, but we all experience certain obstacles. You just have to find your way out of these sticky situations however you can. I guess that’s it really, don’t let the man get you down; I never did.
