Stress: How We Cope A SPECIAL REPORT: LIFE AT CHOATE
By Kate Mays ‘06
News Staff Reporter
Stress. It comes in various forms and is dealt with in many ways. For some, their main stressor is work, for others it is interpersonal relationships, troubles from back home, or whatever else may worry Choate students. What can be said definitely about stress at Choate is that, for most of the students, it is there to be confronted and lived with every day.Throughout the year, around 200 students make a visit to the Pratt Health Center; however, they will enter Pratt by a different door than they would for a visit to Doc Gardner. The Counseling Office, located on the second floor of Pratt, welcomes any and all students who may feel they need a “place to retreat.” “That’s why we have the Health Center,” said Mrs. Charlotte Davidson, one of the counselors, “Anybody can get stressed when there are too many things going on simultaneously....You can take care of one crisis, but more, and it’s too much.”The Art of Juggling Multitudes of StressesChoate students have, in a sense, refined that art of handling stress. The problem, then, is not one stressor, but the multitudes of stressors that a student may face in any given day, week, month, or term. That was the point Mrs. Davidson emphasized when discussing the causes of stress. She could not pinpoint one main source of stress because the level of stress that students reach which make them see a counselor could never be contributed solely to one factor. Kate Deming ’06 reiterated Mrs. Davidson’s point when she said, “I would say that I have noticed that many people...are often under stress and allow it to build up until they have some form of breakdown—the straw that broke the camel’s back.” Mrs. Davidson asserted that students are “trying to cope as best they can,” but when they may be “buried by work...get a cold...have a falling out with a friend,” and all at the same time, it becomes overwhelming and too much for any one student to handle alone. Especially, Mrs. Davidson said, when a student, on top of everything else, is sleep-deprived and not eating very healthily, as students are prone to be. Tim Brettingen ’06 backed that up: “I think people should sleep more, so they won’t have to deal with caffeine rubbish like Red Bull or Triple Mocha Espresso Lattes, with or without the whipped cream.”This is where the various “coping” methods that Choate student have devised come into play. For those who want it, the Counseling Office is open to anyone. The role it may have is always individualized to the student. “Some kids need to talk; some need to sleep, then talk,” explained Mrs. Davidson. The overall goal is to help them “feel more in control,” she said. That may be achieved through helping the students prioritize—“help [them] figure out what can you neglect, what do you have to do today?”—or making them have more “realistic expectations,” as Mrs. Davidson put it. For example the student who has decided to take five AP courses might be advised to rethink his course load. In general, the Counseling Office is there to offer students “a chance to rest, eat, and regroup.”When Choate students were asked how they dealt with stress, a majority replied in similar fashion: eating, resting, and regrouping. The latter gets accomplished through various activities. Exercise ranked high among stress-relievers: “I tend to use my workout time to relieve stress (swimming, running, etc). It’s time where I can organize my thoughts, schedule, etc. in addition to just get a break from the stress itself,” said Elizabeth Lawrence’06. Music, whether it be listened to or played, is also a popular stress-reliever. Macy Goh ’07 hit upon a surprisingly common anxiety-reducing activity: showers. “I take a shower. Long or short, showers just work for me- takes something off the list, and gives me time to straighten my thoughts out, or even think about what to write on a paper. Showers usually help me to stop thinking about all the things I have to do and focus on one thing at a time.” Watching movies is a largely used tactic to battle stress. “I would not have gotten through senior fall...without Sex and the City,” said someone who preferred her identity remain undisclosed. Lauren Citrome ’06 stated, “I watch 24 and everything else seems to melt away.” In that same vein, videogames, or “videogaming,” eases pressure for many. William Brooks ’07 divulged that, “one weekend this fall, a group of sophomores in my dorm played Halo 2 straight for 12 hours.” Procrastination, paradoxically, helps to relieve some students’ stress, or at least put it off for a while. Some say they just have to let go, forget about their work, and go to sleep.Sanity Through FriendshipAt the center of everyone’s responses was a recurring theme: friends. Mrs. Davidson emphasized the importance of having a “support system,” and that came through. If it be through “talking to friends,” “freaking out to friends,” or, for a few, “making out with my boyfriend,” it is certain that friends are a main ingredient in maintaining one’s sanity at Choate. “I guess the way I’ve noticed most people (in my group of friends, that is) tend to deal with stress is by talking about it and obsessing about it a lot.... Boys tend to seem to deal with the social pressures of Choate a lot more easily, so when I need to relax I go hang out with my guy friends,” affirmed Lis Hulin ’06.Some students like to take a proactive approach to stress by not merely trying to alleviate or avoid it, but by tackling it head on. An anonymous someone said he does what the Counseling Office helps its visitors to do, “try to target and eliminate the problem.” He explained with an example: “When I have a zit, I pick at it, squeeze it, cover my face in anti-acne creams and remind myself to stick to a better regimen to prevent more.” Put plainly, another anonymous contributor said that, “somewhere between twiddling thumbs and serious drugs each person finds some activity, if you will, or another that at least seems to help deal with stress.”Drug abuse, though seemingly not as prevalent as other more benign activities, is used by some students on campus, in part as a way to relieve stress. “Cigs and alcohol help me relax,” someone said. Another anonymous source held that, “There is a lot of stress on campus, and before people know how to deal with it, it is easy to turn to other things.... Stress can manifest [itself] in freaking out to friends...but there is also another world, full of Adderall, dip, and caffeine. All that stuff throws you off...but in the immediate it works. It’s easy to get and there is a culture that promotes it here.” Caffeine seems to be the most popular stress-relieving substance on campus. Rickie Kostiner ’06, echoing what many feel, said, “for me...Diet Coke is like Jesus in a can.” Next in terms of a popular abused substance would be nicotine. It is used in various forms, the most favored being, mostly for guys, dip, which is the form of tobacco used orally. The reasons for its popularity ranged from its accessibility to its relatively low-risk factor. In addition to cigarettes, Nicorette gum is also used, with kids going as far as chewing it in class, an anonymous source said. Alcohol, though not as prevalent, is used, as well as prescription drugs, such as Adderall and Ritalin.The Few, The Proud, The Stress-FreeThere are the lucky few on Choate’s campus who do not generally let stress get to them. Luke Orthwein ’06 said that “stress doesn’t do anything to better a situation, so I don’t get stressed out.” Mike Cecchi ’06 added, “I believe students at Choate make stress what they want it to be.... My theory is [to] stay on top of your work, give yourself time to relax, and you’ll be stress free.”No matter how you spin it, the fact remains that in general, stress is unavoidable and here to stay. What must be done, then, is whatever works best for each person to deal; which helps each, amidst the occasional drudgery, to extract pieces of enjoyment, to see many glimmers of happiness. Carlin Yuen ’06, said it most aptly, even sagely: “Life is a package. Take it or leave it. It is how you open it that counts.”
